Like so many things in life, you can't always comprehend something until you experience it firsthand. I realise now that this is true for when you become a Mother and now, also for when you become a bride. The irony is that the two of them are polar opposites - as a Mother your child comes first, and as a bride, it's hard not to make the wedding day all about you (okay, okay, and your groom). As our baby graced us with her presence before the wedding, I didn't have the luxury of making it all about me - instead I had to juggle being a new mother with being a bride-to-be, and I can't say it was that easy. Without Willow I would have been so much more concerned about 'shredding for the wedding' - the old me would have been pounding the streets and eating kale for breakfast, lunch and dinner to ensure I looked the best I could ever look in my wedding dress. I would have been getting every beauty treatment under the sun and I would have been excruciating over the tiniest of details about how I needed to look as a bride and also, how the whole wedding needed to look. But with only 8 weeks to plan the wedding, a business to juggle and a baby to look after, making it all about 'me' was not going to fly. So instead I spent the majority of the lead-up to our big day prioritising Willow and work and then our wedding. It wasn't until the two weeks prior to the wedding that things got a bit crazy. While I tried my hardest not to let the 'zilla come out, it definitely reared its ugly head a few times. All of a sudden there was so much to tick off our never ending to-do list and there were about 100 appointments that needed to be attended.
The thing I found trickiest was how to fit this all in with Willow's routine which is a fairly demanding schedule of 'eat, play, sleep' on repeat, with not much time spare for anything else. While she was asleep I was on work or wedding duty, and while she was awake I was playing mama/housewife. Sadly the teething gods decided to throw a curve ball at us in that last fortnight also, which meant that our amazing wee sleeper suddenly started waking in the middle of the night needing comfort from us. Combining a bedtime of midnight for Gus and I (after we had ticked off our nightly wedmin) an interlude at 4am to settle Willow and then a sunrise wake-up, there wasn't a hell of a lot of sleep going on in those weeks before the wedding.
One of the main things I worried about in the lead up to the wedding day was what to do with Willow on the actual day. In her short eight months of life she hadn't spent a night away from us and apart from the odd few hours babysat by her grandparents or a nanny, she really hadn't had that much time apart from us. Friends had also suggested that we should have the night before the wedding without her in the hope of getting a good night sleep (black under eye circles are never a good look) but we didn't want either sets of grandparents having a bad night sleep either and we also agreed that I would probably just lie awake missing her anyway! So rather than Gus and I sticking to tradition and spending the night separately, we decided to stay at home together - if one went down, the other one would too! And true to form, the monkey woke more than once that night...but baby or no baby, do any couples sleep that well before their wedding day anyway?
Despite the lack of sleep, it was so lovely to have Willow to wake up to in the morning and having her part of our wedding day (more about that
here) is something we wouldn't change for the world. Although she was far too young to know what was going on, throughout our vows she sat so happily and quietly on her uncle's knee - as if she sensed that it was an occasion of great importance...her mama and dada were getting married. While we had our photos taken she was passed around the guests until she was taken home by the nanny for her afternoon sleep. I had photo updates sent to me throughout the evening until she went to bed which let me relax into the night knowing she was happy and well cared for. When the wedding finished, the nanny was relieved by my parents who kindly stayed the night at our house so we could spend our wedding night baby-free - although of course we were awake at 6am desperate to get back to her and to fill her in on the party she had missed.
While the juggle between Motherhood, having a baby, running a business and organising a wedding in a ridiculously short time frame meant for a crazy time, Gus and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. If we hadn't got married then, we would probably instead be three kids down the track and still with different surnames. Thanks to the lack of sleep and stress, I may have had more wrinkles and under eye circles than most brides, but the day itself was so fabulous that in the end none of that mattered at all.
TIPS FOR WHEN THE BABY CARRIAGE COMES BEFORE THE MARRIAGE:
- Make sure you have plenty of babysitters! Whether it is family, friends or hired help, you will need someone to look after the baby while you attend appointments or tick off wedmin tasks.
- Rally together. Don't try and be a superhero by organising the whole wedding on your own. Delegate as much as you can to your family, friends or bridal party. Many hands make light work.
- Don't be a night owl. Try to go to bed early to counteract the possibility of a broken nights sleep and an early start.
- Be organised. It may be an obvious one, but having a 'to do' list with deadlines against each task will ensure you stay on top of everything.
- On the day, make sure you have one person appointed to caring for your baby. Have a run-sheet for the baby alone so the person in charge knows what needs doing and when. Give this runsheet to your family and anyone else involved on the day so they are up with the programme also.
- Make sure you allow plenty of time for photos with you and your baby. Unfortunately this is something we didn't have enough time for and we hugely regret it.
- Try to enjoy the wedding day without worrying about your baby. As long as they are in good hands, you can sit back, relax and enjoy the moment.
